CP MANIFESTO

Coppa Pizzeria is an international tournament of asymmetric and irregular football that reflects the imperfections of modern society and the flaws of the human condition.

Coppa Pizzeria does not promote fair play, friendship, love, respect, or any form of civil rights.

Coppa Pizzeria encourages injustice, egomania, prejudice, and virtually anything that ends in “-ism”.

Participating teams are fully aware that corruption, privilege, inequality, blackmail, kidnappings, and sexual favors are as much a part of the game as the ball itself.

Coppa Pizzeria is not a pet-friendly event.
Coppa Pizzeria is not kid-friendly either.
Coppa Pizzeria is not even friend-friendly.

Dirty play can proudly call Coppa Pizzeria its home.

Referees have the power to manipulate the match in any way that best serves the interests of Coppa Pizzeria.

Referees also retain the right to ius primae noctis with teams taking part in their first Coppa Pizzeria.

The referee may score.

Players who question the referee’s authority will not only be sent off, but will also suffer physical and moral abuse.

Fans not only have the right to use smoke bombs and invade the pitch, they are strongly encouraged to do so.

Goals scored by sober players will be disallowed and the scorers sent off.

A header counts double.

A goal scored with a bicycle kick ends the match, regardless of the score.

Matches last 5 minutes, but the referee has the power to make them last 1 second or 2 hours.

Teams playing their first Coppa Pizzeria will be brutally bullied, on and off the pitch.

Prizes and trophies are awarded without any decipherable logic.

All of the above rules may be ignored or modified if the Committee so decides.

Coppa Pizzeria bears only a slight assonance with the word “democracy”.
All similarities end there.